Deidara in Fruits Basket: The Rewrite Edition
by Master Boss
Summary: A rewritten version of Deidara in Fruits Basket! :D Deidara finds himself in a strange world with strange people and their strange ability to transform into animals. He doesn't like it. When all of the Akatsuki suddenly find themselves in this strange world with him, they realize that something strange is afoot and must work together with the strange people to find a way home.
1. Prologue

**Prologue: Deidara in Fruits Basket**

Deidara could feel his head pounding. He slowly opened his eyes, rubbing at them gently and looking around. He didn't know where he was. Everything was wrong. Where were the sand and the Akatsuki cave? Why was everything covered in snow? Nothing made sense. He shivered, pulling his cloak tighter around himself. The young Akatsuki began moving, however his foot finding its way on an ice patch. He fell, hitting his head on the ground and was thus knocked out.

In the distance, a certain girl named Tohru Honda was walking along the sidewalk on her way home when, all of a sudden, she found what appeared to be a young woman fallen on the ice.

"Oh no, what's this? This poor young woman! I need to take her home! Maybe Shigure will know what to do with her!" She cried, trying her very best to carry the young ninja back to Shigure's home.

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Tohru rushed into the door, carrying Deidara to the best of her ability. Shigure heard shuffling and decided to investigate, not expecting anything spectacular. What he found was a shock to him; he hadn't expected to find Tohru carrying in a lovely young lady with long, golden blond hair, pulled up into a pony tail, bangs drooping into her eyes. The girl looked peaceful; at least, the person looked like a girl. Before anyone could even breathe, the girl before them began to stir. Tohru had set 'her' on the couch and Shigure stood to the left, watching the girl as she began to slowly awaken. She opened her eyes, her bangs obscuring one of the large, sky blue orbs. Deidara looked around wearily, unsure of his surroundings and confused about who the people staring at him were. He rubbed at the lump forming on the back of his head, feeling the swollen area and trying his best to ease the pain.

"What are you staring at, un?" He stated indignantly, shooting daggers at the two of them. Tohru's eyes brightened,

"You're a boy!" She cried cheerily, Deidara frowned,

"Of course, un! Judging from my lack of-"

Before he could continue, Kyo walked down the stairs pulling Momiji by the blonde hair atop his head,

"Get out," he shrieked loudly, pushing him away and staring at the peculiar scene in front of him, "who is that?" He stated, pointing a finger at Deidara. He felt odd on the inside, like the Space Butterfly himself had come to tell him, 'this one is special, don't tick them off'. But, like hell was Kyo about to obey the Space Butterfly, no. He walked straight up to Deidara and inspected the other, staring straight into his eye and pulling at his hair as he poked him in the chest. The other male glared at him,

"What do you think you're doing, un? I am the mighty Deidara and you dare to touch me? You dare to touch a missing nin like me?" Deidara could feel his blood starting to boil, like he was about to explode all up in all their faces, yet he restrained himself in order to hear the answer from the orange haired one. He was shocked, nobody knew who he was. Their faces showed their lack of care. He was not pleased. Instead of a response from the orange one, what he received was a cute cry from the whiny, blond one who reminded him oh so much of Tobi,

"What's a missing nin?" Momiji piped up. That was it. Deidara could feel the explosion. It was going to happen any time now…and then it didn't. He couldn't find it in himself to do it. He turned around slowly and stared into Momiji's warm blue eyes, the anger emanating from his being,

"Missing nin," Deidara began slowly, gradually increasing the volume of his voice as he continued, "Is a ninja who has run away, never to return. We draw lines in our headbands to show that we don't give a damn! I ran away from home and don't ever intend to go back! They're all ass holes; the only place for me is with the Akatsuki!" Deidara began to laugh maliciously, thinking of all the destruction he would do when he returned home, whenever it was that would be. He could hear the murmurs behind him from the others, 'he thinks he's a ninja~!' He could feel the anger rising and knew someone would die. Shigure stepped forward before any person could die, sensing the tension in the room,

"I had believed the headband was just a carefully picked accessory, I believe you pull it off quite well. It goes especially nice with the dress, my friend," he said evenly, watching as the Akatsuki bubbled over,

"It's a cloak," he said through gritted teeth,

"Oh, my apologies," Shigure said innocently, chuckling inwardly. Momiji had spent the last minute trying to wrap his mind around the words the strange man had spoken before, but was unable to do so. There was one word in particular that had confused him,

"What's the Akatsuki?" Momiji asked a second time, only to receive the worst death glare he had ever received. The lad curled up, tears springing from his eyes and threatening to fall as he turned his attention away from the glaring Akatsuki.

"I don't even dare answer that, you ignorant brat! How could you not know of the lethal Akatsuki?! So help me...I could blow you to bits!" Deidara turned to leave, but then realized that he had no place to stay. He turned back and stared straight into the eldest of Sohma's in the eyes and stated plainly, "I am in need of housing and staying here. Lend me your sleeping quarters." Shigure raised his eyebrows, flashing a smile and chuckling,

"I suppose there is one more guest room available for you," he said, gesturing to his left vaguely. "You can go find it for yourself, it isn't hidden," Deidara huffed and stomped off, searching for the room in mention. Kyo looked at the group in front of him and waited until he believed the other had stomped his way to the room, before speaking,

"I like him," was the last of the conversation Deidara heard. He didn't even know who had uttered such a phrase, but it warmed his stone cold heart. He felt his cheeks flush as he sighed,

"I like you, too, un." Deidara muttered under his breath as he walked into the room he would live in until he found a way home, flopping on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He pulled his hair down and took the cloak off of his form, settling into the bed he now called his own. His hand moved into the pouch situated at his hip, slipping inside and playing with the soft white clay.

He had a feeling that he was going to be here for a while...

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He had seemed to have fallen asleep as he stared at the ceiling and awoke to the sounds of screaming. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and pushed the hair out of his face. Yawning and stretching himself out, he walked out into the living room, leaving his cloak behind. What he saw did not please him, in fact it made his eye twitch a bit. He had walked in on a woman, stark naked, hugging Kyo's leg,

"I love you," she had said softly, only barely audible from where Deidara stood. Immediately, he turned to leave, rubbing at his temples as he knew some sort of headache was approaching. He groaned and slammed the door to his room.

He didn't understand what was up with this house, but he knew that he needed to leave soon, while his sanity was still intact.

* * *

Hello and welcome back to Deidara in Fruits Basket!

I'm Master Boss, formerly known as Burnt Taco and I missed you Naruto fans. You were all adorable. (: It's been, what, six years since I've really been in the Naruto fandom? Yeah, about that long. Sixth grade. I'm a senior now. It's cray-zay. All the things are going to be different, I want this to be more clean cut and less random-everything-whatever I feel like writing because I can't write. I want this to be good. It's going to have ideas this time around. I remember the Halloween chapter. THAT I WROTE IN JANUARY! THAT. WAS. NOT. GOOD! That is going to die. I'm killing it with fire.

Bear with me, updates will be slow, because I have school and various other things to do in my life now, but they will be so much better.

I hope you all can agree with me that my writing has improved significantly. I'm quite proud of my writing ability as of now, thank you high school English teachers.

I love writing as Deidara in Word solely because whenever I write "un" it asks if I want to change it to UN. NO, I don't want to change it to the United Nations! XD The United Nations isn't a thing in Naruto! Nope. They probably have some silly United Villages thing. That would make my nerd brain smile. I'm actually dying right now because of that and I know it's not that funny, but my nerd brain says "it's hilarious! You love this stuff!"

I feel, as well, that there should be some other elements in this besides purely comedy and parody…I want to make Deidara and Kyo awkward love interests. That would make me chuckle. Would that make you all chuckle? Leave your opinions, if you don't mind, on that thought! I love incorporating your ideas (:

Questions, comments? Feel free to leave them in the reviews! Follow and favorite if you enjoyed? I'd appreciate it (:

~Lots of Love and Muchos Besos,

Master Boss AKA Burnt Taco


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: The Cultural Festival**

Deidara could see the light shining through his eyelids, creating a red glow. He turned over and covered at his face, wishing for day to come hours later. He wasn't ready to get up yet. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him; he swatted it away, grumbling under his breath,

"What do you want, un?" He opened his eyes slowly and rubbed the sleep from them before stretching himself out. Tohru looked him up and down, judging him to be only around seventeen,

"It's time for school, silly!" She said cheerily, taking his hand and pulling him from the bed, "all of Yuki and Kyo's spare uniforms are dirty so you'll have to wear one of mine, but it's fine you'll pull it off really well!" Deidara groaned, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. The young man was led into Tohru's room and he watched impatiently as she sifted through clothes in her closet, judging from what he could see he knew he wouldn't enjoy the clothes she'd give him. Regardless of the fact that they were about the same height and the clothes would probably fit him well, he wasn't very appreciative of the skirt he was given. "Here, try this on," the girl smiled at him as he rolled his eyes, groaning once more, "I'll go wait in the hall while you change!" Tohru stated as she walked out of the room, allowing the Akatsuki to undress himself,

"At least the other Akatsuki aren't here to see this," he mumbled, "they'd all be convinced I was truly a girl. They never believe me when I say I'm not anyway," Deidara pulled his hair up into his signature half ponytail, smoothing the bang in front of his face. He walked out slowly, blushing lightly when Tohru gave a squee of delight,

"Oh, you're so cute!" Deidara's sleep deprived mind couldn't fathom what it was he was wearing, he just grumbled to himself as he walked into the living room. The others were nowhere in sight, it had seemed that the orange haired one and blonde one (along with the other one, the one with the gray hair, he had encountered during the time of feast the prior night) had already gone to this 'school' that he had to attend.

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Deidara trudged his way into the gates of the school reluctantly, having woken up since leaving the home and realizing what he was wearing. He felt exposed. The skirt was too short; it barely covered him at all. The socks he had to wear were itchy. The shoes he stole from the girl were too small. Wearing long sleeves made his arms hot. Everything about these clothes was uncomfortable and he hated it.

As they approached the classrooms, Deidara could see the hustle and bustle of the students as they moved about, preparing for what appeared to be a large was confused by all the commotion, but didn't say a word. He ran into the one with gray hair and was ushered into his classroom, as he watched the orange one and the girl walk away together. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, he wanted to go with them. He wanted to be with the orange one. What was the orange one's name? Oh yes, Kyo. He liked the sound of the name. Deidara shook his head violently, trying to get the thoughts of the orange one out of his head as he waltzed into the classroom, his arm hooked around the gray haired ones. He could see the eyes of the girls in the classroom he had just entered widen, they all stared at him in disbelief,

"Who is the new girl and why is she with Prince Yuki?" He could hear them wondering, he couldn't help but turn around and look at them as Yuki slipped out from the room,

"I'm not a girl, un" he said, his voice much more masculine than the girls had expected. He flipped his hair casually, sighing inwardly and taking a seat by the window, contemplating whether to make a break for another room or not. He sort of wanted to see what the orange one was doing. He reminded him of Sasori in a way; it was his appearance more than his personality. He missed Sasori. Quickly he shook the thoughts of Sasori out of his mind as he heard a gasp come from all of the girls in the class. The young Akatsuki turned to watch as "the Prince" walked in, in a girls' uniform. He felt a little bit relieved to know he wasn't the only one, and even inwardly chuckled when he saw the other boy's awkward look of embarrassment, a light blush gracing his cheeks. He stood up and walked out of the room, before any of the girls could compare him to this "prince" they loved so much, he wasn't in the mood to hear them say he wasn't as pretty of a girl as their prince.

He wandered the halls, hoping to find the room the orange one and girl walked into. Soon, he heard the screams of the orange one and gingerly opened the door, watching as the group of students made triangles out of rice. He liked this. It looked like fun and having realized he had left his clay at home, he desperately felt the need to make art. He sauntered into the room and looked around, finding the girl child molding her rice. Next to her, he found one that was shaped like a cat; he eyed the triangular ears curiously,

"What's wrong with this one…?" From beside, Tohru perked up and smiled,

"It's a cat! Isn't it just the cutest thing? I think it's absolutely precious!" Deidara shrugged, placing the cat back down and frowning slightly,

"It's okay, I guess," he grabbed at the rice and began molding it, shaping the sticky material into the shape of one of his signature bird sculptures. He placed it down on the plate proudly, "that's true art." He continued to regret the fact that he had left his clay at home for the need to make the little bird of rice explode was very great. Behind Deidara, the door opened once more only to have a tall man with dark hair and dark eyes walk in with a certain grey haired young man on his tail, blushing lightly at all the stares of the group around him. As Deidara continued to look at the new group that had just entered, he noticed that the little blonde boy that reminded him of Tobi had come. He groaned loudly and kept away, instead keeping close to the orange one named Kyo. However, the blonde boy walked close to the both of them, pointing at Deidara and looking up with curious eyes,

"Why does he look like a mädchen like Yuki does?" Deidara turned, glaring at the boy he had so desperately wanted to avoid,

"Boy, even Buddha's patience has its limits; if you continue to speak I will decide on your death." Deidara said through gritted teeth, clenching his hands into fists and pressing them up to Momiji's head forcefully. Kyo chuckled inwardly, watching the two blonde men next to him. Momiji turned to Hatori sadly and looked up at him, tears forming in his eyes,

"Hari-chan…they're trying to hurt me!" Hatori turned his dark eyes to the scene, shrugging and stating that nothing was the matter. He walked over to Yuki, pressing a hand to his forehead and flashing the smallest of smiles,

"I didn't know you were a girl, Yuki." Yuki smiled sarcastically, rolling his eyes and clearly losing his cool,

"You've seen me naked many times, Hatori. Are you making fun of me now?" Deidara was meanwhile fuming, glaring daggers at Yuki's back. Why wasn't he called out? The girls all loved when he crossdressed, but if Deidara did it because he had to, they got uppity! How dare they?

"I hope whatever's wrong with him is fatal," Kyo chuckled and the two young men shared a smile. As if on cue, Hatori stated suddenly quietly,

"For all of you to know, Yuki has weak bronchial tubes; and when he was little he would have asthma attacks, however those have subsided. But you never know, it's best to be safe and check up on him," As he explained, the little blonde boy had hopped onto the booth that Tohru and Kyo's class had constructed and filled to the brim with rice balls. Kyo glared at the boy, picking him up and forcefully sitting him down in a chair far away from the booth,

"SIT HERE AND DON'T MOVE!" Kyo cried angrily, hitting the boy on the head, ignoring his shouts of panic. He turned back to Deidara with a look of accomplishment and the Akatsuki gave him a look of confusion,

"How long do we have to go to this school? I'd much rather be outside-" The orange one nodded, understanding what the other wanted. He also would rather be outside, running training enough so that he could finally beat the damn rat. He only barely caught the last of what Deidara had said after he nodded, "-keeping up my training," he had said. Kyo had an idea and he felt it might work. He could maybe train with this stranger who he felt a strange connection to.

"Train with me." Deidara looked at him wide eyed before nodding.

* * *

Hello, friends! :D

Oh, dear lord. I read the original of this chapter and I must say, it right well sucked balls. Since I've veered away from the Fruits Basket fandom, I cannot remember for the life of me half of what I was talking about because I offered little to no explanation about what was what. I just assumed that everyone reading knew exactly what I knew, and now I know nothing because I've moved away. Oh, joy. Time to wiki for the rest of this story D:

I'm having a Swedish song binge...and have come to the conclusion that I adore Swedish music.

BETA. I need. Someone help. HELP ME! D: I'm not to the point where I'm desperate for one, but I'd really, REALLY appreciate it if someone would proofread and edit for me. It'd be just grand.

Oh, hey. School is starting on Thursday. Well, that's a thing. Get ready for even less updates than I've been doing! :D It'll take forever to find time to do anything with my schedule this year! However, you know what's awesome? I have three classes where I'll get free food/drink on a consistent basis! I get hot chocolate in English, licorice in Graphic Design on Fridays, and in History I get pretzels every day and have hot chocolate Mondays. I feel so spoiled.

So, yeah, I've decided. Kyo and Deidara are going to be a thing. I think they'll be my cover art. I'm going to try and draw them together.

Questions, comments? Feel free to leave them in the reviews! Follow and favorite if you enjoyed? I'd appreciate it (:

~Lots of Love and Muchos Besos,

Master Boss AKA Burnt Taco


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